South Asian Veteran Shakes Therapy Stigma and Finds Relief
3 minute read
South Asian Veteran Shakes Therapy Stigma and Finds Relief
3 minute read
Vaishali felt like she was drowning when she transitioned to civilian life from her service in the Air Force. Unable to surface from feelings of anxiety, sadness, and irrelevancy, she even had thoughts of suicide. And she didn’t understand why.
Then, overcoming her personal and cultural reluctance to ask for mental health support, the Air Force Veteran visited a therapist at VA. The therapist diagnosed her with anxiety, posttraumatic stress disorder, and borderline personality disorder. To Vaishali, the diagnoses were lifesaving.
“When I learned that, everything made sense, because I understood my actions and I understood why,” Vaishali says. Identifying the causes of these symptoms started her on a path to healing.
The challenge of transitioning from service
Transitioning to civilian life can be a difficult change for service members, and many Veterans go through some period of adjustment. For some people, that adjustment is harder or takes a longer time. During this period, seeking support can be critical.
Vaishali served in the Air Force from 2017 to 2024 as a data maintenance management analyst. For her, breaking new ground as a South Asian woman in the military was a point of pride. Leaving the military took away some of that purpose: Vaishali says she felt irrelevant as a civilian. Her transition to civilian life was made even more difficult when she had to confront a new challenge: ovarian cancer.
“Everything just kind of hit at the same time, and it felt like I was drowning,” she says. “I hit the lowest points of my life.”
Even so, Vaishali didn’t want to ask for help or acknowledge that she might need it. “I was pretending to be OK,” she says.
Overcoming resistance to therapy
Vaishali tried to seem OK, but her husband knew she wasn’t. “My husband gave me an ultimatum that either I had to go seek help or we were done,” she says. His push helped her overcome her internal resistance to seeking help, she adds.
She and her husband received therapy as a couple and separately. It all helped, but Vaishali singles out her initial one-on-one sessions as revelatory.
“Mental health in the Indian community and the culture, that’s not a thing,” she says. “So, for me, getting that space to actually just talk about things that I always thought was normal and realizing that it isn’t and changing my ways? Brilliant,” she exclaims.
“I’m proud of me today”
Vaishali notes that treatment has changed her. “I’m more present,” she says. “The things that bothered me are not an issue anymore.” She’s repaired her relationship with her husband and finds joy in cooking and in making art by pouring resin, which she finds soothing. “It’s like a river. It just flows in the way that it wants to flow. And I love, I love that,” she says.
“I’m proud of me today, and I’m proud of me every single day that I get up,” she adds. “Being who I am for my kids, for myself, my husband, and being here.”
